16th May is coming

Past few months have been really stressful for all of us. Sikkim experienced disturbances everywhere following vandalism and massacre of two people.  At the very beginning, there is no doubt that every Sikkimese  acknowledge the professional manner in which you conduct elections. But where I need to pick a bone, people were not paying heed to how chaos changes the place we live in and therefore the entire election process starting from the beginning, to campaigning to and to casting my vote was an utter disappointment. Both of the party claimed their golden rule as " Let's maintain peace" but none followed the rule. Both were instigated by each other which resulted in disastrous outcome. Burning vehicles to assaulting women,Sikkim was no longer a peaceful State. 

I had never seen  election this closely before.  On previous elections, I was home only to cast my vote. But this time, I experienced it and I have come to conclusion that politics indeed is a dirty game but if you don't do politics, politics will do you. By saying that, politics never interested me. If you ask me about it, I would totally go blank but this time I was somewhat drawn to it. The fake information some popular Facebook media posted made me realize that politics pulls you into it even when you don't want to get involved. Past few months had indeed been the most stressful months of my life.

And now finally the most awaited day i.e 16th May is just a day away. My friends have been calling and texting me, asking if I am nervous?  I am getting hundreds of mails on Facebook wishing me best . To be honest, I just want this to get settled and over. One of my friend Niha message touched me which said, " be positive and accept gracefully whatever the outcome. Anything might happen. But whatever the result, I am always here for you." Thank you.

Anyway, So what is going to happen tomorrow? Both the parties are dead sure about their win. I hear the opposition have already stocked crackers and started to slaughter goats. On the other hand, SDF is quite and waiting for the result. Some say we needn't worry and some advise to prepare for the worst. But is the result going to affect me or my family members in anyway?

Recently my cousin went to M.G.marg. She is a loyal customer to one shop. The man who runs the shop used to be my favorite Uncle. But post election, his attitude was kind of cold towards my cousin. She told me he couldn't look her in her eyes and never uttered a word. Now what the hell was that? We get it that he is no longer a supporter of SDF but does that mean now he should brush us off? Seriously? Has politics become personal now?

Thinking about that incident I am down in the mouth. I have overheard people saying  " Chamling ko santaan naas garnu parcha."( Should kill all the Chamling family) They serious? " Nepal khedawnu parcha"( Chase them to Nepal) Must be fishing kidding me. I was shocked. Sikkim rightfully belongs to us as it belongs to any other Sikkimese people. How can people be so inhuman? How quickly people change colors. 

If change should come tomorrow by any chance, I know that people who was kind to us will suddenly change their attitude towards us, one who  ran after us for favors will turn their back towards us, I guarantee it. Some friends will definitely choose the other direction. People who visit our home will be cut down by percents. We will be given cold shoulder because then they will no longer have any favor to ask from us. It's a human nature I think. It changes with circumstances and time.

 If SDF will come to power once again then, it will be just the opposite I guess. SDF is going to make history either way. We will carry on living whatever the result. I will still be me and the way I am. Some friends will still stick around, no matter what. But having experienced all this, I will always remember, politics has no full stop. It goes on and it not only affects the state of The State but also it affects personal relationships.

Now it's just a matter of wait and watch. Brace yourself, 16th is coming :)

The answer

Much time has elapsed since I have done my last post. First it was interruptions and finally illness that kept me away from writing.  I spent many days thinking about what to write and now I feel a bit better to do so.

Last few days I was experiencing life at a rate of several WTF's per hour.  I was living in the kingdom of  questions and I looked like I am the Queen.  It was like nothing interested me anymore and I was getting irritated by every possible thing alive. Too many questions and few answer. Nevertheless, I do believe that life do have an answers and when we know the answer, then life becomes seemingly great and beautiful but still I keep questioning and complaining.   

Anyway I  do not allow myself to be misled by the surfaces of things, may be because I trusted people too easily before and may be all the things that happened in my life. But yes, Do we stop trusting? Do we stop living?  I guess this is  how life works. Some people come to stay in your life forever and some walk away  and all we can do is watch them disappear. (And seriously, the ones that walked away can kiss my a**  :P)
Some times you are happy when life favors you and sometimes you break down and ask, why me? 

Having all these question on my mind, I  downloaded mantras and meditated. To be frank enough, I  found solace in myself. I had not meditated in a very long time but when I did, it all reflected back to me that all the good things that happen in our life is the result of the ingredients we gather to create a beauty and all that goes bad  is the  wrong choices. Is it still fair to blame the fate? Aren't we the creator of our own destiny? Bit by bit you realize that the answer was always there, it's just that we overlooked. 

Life still shows you a lot of things. It amazes you at every corner. One moment you are surrounded by happiness and the other, you find yourself in deep ocean of tears. But we still live on, we still grow until we come out as a strong person. Even though the past remains fossilized in your head, you some how find your way out of it. And sometimes someone is sent for you, to ease your soul, an angel in disguise.... May be this is  life's way of teaching us to be strong. May be the reason why we become restless with too many questions is itself a signal so that we look out for an answer our self. May be!


 And now I have found my answer and I know that life is a magic and we create it. 

5 THINGS PEOPLE DON'T BELIEVE ABOUT ME AS A DAUGHTER OF A POLITICIAN.

The other day I was talking to a friend of mine who lives in the States. We’ve been friends for four years now but never had a chance to meet in person. Well she has her life there, a comfortable one working as a chef. Akriti wanted me to come visit her but since I couldn't, she was like, " Your reasons better be good”!

Come on, I mean visit a friend in the States, seriously? It isn't that easy, is it? And then a very common dialogue, which I had to hear my whole life and the one that always makes me cringe, was blurted out. I could sense that coming. I was like- "Don't say that, don't say that... and there- "Amamama Chief Minister ko chori USA pani awnu na sakeko?" (A CM’s daughter can’t afford a trip to the States?). Zip it!!

Most of my family members have had to live our life listening to this kind of remarks and tolerate speculation. Even when we  live a very simple life, we are somewhat forced to live the life of people's imagination simply because they wouldn't believe it. I am amazed  at how human mind can go to that extend  where they create false image and also believe  like it was the truth.  

Anyway I thought what could be better than posting something people always assumed when the case is quite different. So enjoy :P :P

1. This is what people think my bedroom looks like

  How it actually looks like.. I am joking.. scroll down

This is what my bedroom looks like. I am not that typical woman who decorates room with ornaments or any show pieces. My bedroom is a place where I paint and also teach kids.

2.  This is what people think I have......................................................

This is what I actually have- An empty wallet.. :P { I know what you are thinking. Even if it's the truth, I guarantee nobody will believe it. }

3. This is where people think I shop. ( Never in my life I have laid my foot here). 

This is where I really shop. Anything I can get my hands on that fits and it's ok. 

4. What people think about my attitude as a daughter of CM

How I actually am... hahah :P

WHAT'S ATTITUDE?. 


5.  What people think happens...................................

What actually happens... hahaha :P

I could go on and on but I think this is enough for today :). 

Thank u for dropping by :)

P.S: When I first started this , I wanted to write something else but this turned out to be a fun post :). I hope u enjoyed it. I would like to advice my readers not to make any issue out of this. It is totally personal. Please do not make it political. Thank You.. 

The life that rolled backward...

There I was in September,  looking outside the window of my new apartment somewhere in 60, The Vale, physically and emotionally. From outside I probably looked excited to be in a new place, but to me, on the inside, I was gloomy. 

I stood there wondering where am I to start?  It was all new to me. Where I was supposed to be was now a place I would never ever lay my foot on and here I was. New faces and new place. 

I felt a temporary relief for few minutes that I was lucky to start a new life but somehow my past pulled me right back to reality that new beginning don't erase an old past. I welled up.

I questioned myself, why this pain? It was my decision to leave everything behind and start fresh, then why this sorrow?

I gathered myself and made up my mind that the past was not going to hold me back and I was getting everything I had set out to achieve!


It was windy and my bags unpacked. I looked around the room. A  thick old curtains which probably belonged to 1980's partly hung from the window. I murmured to myself, " Great! like my life, cannot be fixed, cannot be unseen." I began unpacking but I was distracted by the silence. It was all different to me. No more people discussing my life and I had no more to laugh to suppress the pain. This was it! This was something I had waited for a very very long time.. Suddenly  happiness engulfed me and I smiled away..   Now there was no more looking back . I felt freedom.

On the one hand, I wanted to be true to the intentions I put together for myself in 2013 . But in order to be true to myself, I had to let go of everything.

I spent rest of the month trying to figure my way to College and back to my room. My sister who was also new to the area,shifted to the same house from Hertfordshire, accompanied me 2 days in a row to college. It felt like a puzzle to me. A month back, I was in India trying to sort my life and here I was now, passing through the crowds in Oxford Street in London.

As I walked past the Selfridges, I saw the big sign that said Happiness is coming. It was actually a hoarding for Christmas but it so felt like as though it was sending me some message. I smiled because It made me happy and I knew that I would accept every little happiness that came my way, never to look back again..